She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
