We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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