The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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