last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
