I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
