you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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