I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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