I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
