Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize