You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I didn't notice because vodka
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
