Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
