Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
