thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
