Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
