Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
