I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
