Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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