the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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