Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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