i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
