Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
