Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
