it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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