I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize