lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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