at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
