My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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