He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
MIDGETS
????
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize