Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I need moral support for this bender
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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