I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
