Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she peed on how many people?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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