We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You made out with two different species that night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
