quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
