I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
