a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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