i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
