Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize