I wanna bring you to show and tell
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
