and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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