My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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