I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
