the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
