I hate your face
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
And then my night got REAL pukey
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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