this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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