Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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