oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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