those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
