Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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