just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
