Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
