I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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