On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think people are normalizing furries
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
