I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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