can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
