I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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