so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
