Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
