If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
